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Leukeran (Chlorambucil)

Most families have been through a gamut of emotions as they watched their loved one sinking into chemical dependence. They have suffered from despair, anger, frustration and guilt. Months, sometimes years, of pressure on the family have caused them to become emotionally damaged themselves.
If the family has joined Families Anonymous or Al-anon, they will recognise this damage to themselves and will be recovering while their addict recovers. They will be getting on with their own lives and they will understand what is happening to the addict.
Families who refuse to go to these organisations, however, may stay in almost total ignorance of the illness of chemical dependence. Just as they did not understand it when you were using drugs, so they do not understand your recovery.
They may greet the joyful news that you are in NA or AA and recovering a day at a time with downright disbelief or suspicious scepticism. You may find that they are still checking up on you or treating you as if you were still on drugs or still drinking.
Before you react with childish anger, think about it from their point of view. After all, they’ve heard your promises many times before. They’ve exhausted themselves hoping this really would be the last time you took drugs or drank. They’ve been through the despair of realising your promises weren’t kept. They have listened to the innumerable lies you told them while you were using drugs or drinking.
Why should they believe you now? You know it’s different this time, because you understand about NA and the programme, but they don’t understand it. They may even be wildly suspicious of the idea that recovering addicts or alcoholics can help each other. Many people who have never gone to a public NA or AA meeting are suspicious.
If this is their attitude, stop trying to persuade, coax or bully them into understanding. Words just won’t help. They may listen, but it’s as if they can’t hear. But deeds will get through. Over the next few months you can demonstrate how it works by staying clean and by getting on with your recovery. They may not believe what you say, but they will believe what they see with their own eyes. Don’t play the game ‘How Can I Stay Sober If You Don’t Trust Me?’ As the months pass, their scepticism will disappear and they will be delighted to see you changing before their very eyes.

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