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Cytoxan (Cyclophosphamide)

If you are going to be happy as well as free from, drugs you will need to do a considerable amount of work on yourself. As we have said earlier, addicts who want to stay off drugs and live happy lives will have to alter many of their attitudes.
Let’s look a little closer at this business of changing attitudes. It is at the heart of successful recovery. By now, if you have been clean for several weeks, the chances are that all kinds of feelings are coming back to you. Some of these feelings are pleasant – joy, laughter, caring. Others are extremely unpleasant. These are feelings like anger, jealousy, self-pity, depression and anxiety. Sometimes these feelings simmer away inside you and you are not even sure what they are.
Name them, own them, dump them-If you are feeling unhappy or restless or ill at ease, the first thing to do is’ to look at yourself and ask yourself: ‘What is going on? What are my feelings at this moment?’
Identify the emotion. Is it anxiety? Perhaps things are not going right in your life and you are worrying about the future. Is it resentment? Are you going over something in your mind that makes you feel angry?
Now admit to yourself, ‘Yes, that is what I am feeling.’ One of the reasons why people stay very uncomfortable in themselves is that they don’t admit to their feelings. Through clenched teeth they say things like ‘Of course, I’m not angry but. . .’
Once you have admitted what it is that you are feeling, you can get rid of the uncomfortable feelings by talking about them at meetings, phoning your sponsor and in general getting them out into the open and dumping them.
But these measures, excellent though they are, are only temporary ones. In the long run, in order to lead a contented life, you must take action to prevent the negative feelings arising in the first place.

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